This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
