Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
