Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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