dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Randomize
