i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
