Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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