i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Houston, we have a blender
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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