What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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