i think my tv is drunk
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
