i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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