And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
