Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
So squirting runs in the family.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
