She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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