I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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