My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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