no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
