Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
