Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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