I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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