As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
