I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
