so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
