last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
