Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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