what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
