Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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