Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
