got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
