no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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