Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
