Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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