The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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