i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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