did you get engaged???
farters have to be the big spoon...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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