dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
