Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
That accounts for only three of the penises
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
