I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
