i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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