Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
