they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
