Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
