Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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