If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
