I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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