i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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