Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
