You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Is it because I queefed?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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