Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
