Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
