Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
